Sometimes -
OK, all the time -
Over the past 3 years (next month)
I have pondered how amazing my life is.
I am still constantly amazed at how
easy life is
when you find someone you fit with so perfectly.
Troubles don't seem so big,
Joys feel immense
and all that mundane, routine stuff
has a bit of a sparkle to it.
I never knew
before him
that life could be so
Comfortable.
Every bit of it.
I never knew that three years could feel like three days.
I never knew things could just keep on getting more perfect.
I never knew that so much happiness could be hinged
On the simple reality of
Living every day with my best friend.
I say it to him almost daily,
but I still don't know the answer:
How did I get so lucky?
If I had known twenty years ago
That he was out there
And that we would meet
I would have waited.
And it would have been worth it.
I can't believe this is my life.
Friday, April 22, 2016
Saturday, April 16, 2016
Ten Minute Resolution?
A few weeks ago I was visiting with my parents. One of the things we talked about was how I finally settled with my title company. I had filed the complaint at the end of July 2014; I can't believe that took almost two years. And in reality, nothing was settled other than they admitted negligence and "paid me off" - they took the value of my property minus the value of the portion my neighbors are encroaching on and called it good. After going through a lot of meetings, emails, lawyer consultation, lawyer involvement to a small degree, a survey, an appraisal, fencing estimates, ad nauseam, I knew that the sum they offered me a few weeks ago was going to be as far as I was going to get with them, and I took it. So that part is finally over. Unfortunately, it didn't garner me any more of my property. That's up to us.
The conversation then turned to moving our fence so that we can gain as much back as possible. Despite knowing how horrible my neighbors (Mr. and Mrs. Nasty) have acted toward us, my parents advised me to "take the high road." Ariel suggested that part of that might mean we send them a letter to let them know we're going to be moving the fence, as well as asking them if the current fence was one they put up. You know, in case they "wanted it back."
A few days later Ariel and I decided to go upstairs to the rooftop deck to scope out where we might move the fence to. Despite wanting to take back as much of our land as possible, there are really only two places where it makes sense and, for the rest of it, even though the fence is not on the property line, we are going to leave it where it is. For instance, for a good number of linear feet, there is a retaining wall. It only makes sense for us to put a new fence on the retaining wall, not on the other side of it where we might have to worry about erosion, the fence falling onto their house, and there also being a big tree in the way.
As we headed up the stairs, I noticed the neighbor, who I'll call Ron, sitting outside. Just being really frustrated at this whole thing, I thought, "To heck with it," and called out to him, "Hey, did you guys put this fence up?"
He responded, "No, the previous owners of your house did."
"Well," I said, "we're going to move it."
His wife came flying out of the house yelling, "See, Ron, I told you this wasn't over!"
What ensued was a highly errant (and therefore, slightly entertaining) "conversation." (I put that in quotes, because I've yet to see these people have a real civil give-and-take conversation. Kind of like my fiance's ex, but I digress).
I proceeded to tell her that, since it's our property, we are going to move the fence. She asked me (make sure that you read her parts in your head with a nasty yell) where we were going to move it to, making sure to inform me that we couldn't put it in front of their door because that would be against city code.
"Actually," I said, "We could. I have an email from the city planner saying their are no set-backs."
"Oh, that fatty from Oklahoma you told a bunch of lies to?" she spat.
We're not sure what lies she's referring to; we went in there with a survey.
"However," Ariel said, trying to negotiate smoothly, "we aren't going to do that."
"Well, then where are you going to put it?" Ron asked (you can read his part with an angry voice, but he didn't yell quite so much).
"What would work for you?" Ariel asked.
"If you would f-n move!" she yelled (except she used the whole word, not just f-n).
"Well, that's not going to happen," I responded as Ariel and Ron went about discussing where we were probably going to end up putting a fence post. Ron scratched an X into the rock with a stick, and said, "And once that happens, I don't want to ever hear another word about this!"
"But if you put it there, we won't be able to get into our yard," Ron's wife yelled (let's call her Carrie).
"Yes, you're going to have to cut a new gate into your wire fencing," I told her. "But, we aren't going to ask you do anything with your A/C unit."
"You can't do anything about that, anyway!" Carrie cried.
"Actually, it's over the property line. We could have you move that. But we'll let you leave it." (Their A/C unit, that they put in a couple summers ago, is on the other side of the retaining wall - part of the yard we aren't going to worry about fencing because it would just be unusable space for us due to the retaining wall).
Then Ron said something about consulting lawyers and having been to court (huh? for what?) about this whole issue. It was evidently a scare-tactic (maybe they were hoping it would make us back off?), because what would the point be of bringing that up? If any lawyer had told them they had a leg to stand on, Ron would never have marked an X anywhere in agreement to us putting a fence post anywhere on what he considers their property. The only other way they could try to refute anything is to have their own survey done, which will never happen. First of all, surveys are thousands of dollars. We never would have had one done if we'd had to pay for it ourselves. Secondly, any survey company they called out would just use the lines already set by the company that did ours. They'd be SOL no matter what.
Then Carrie spat at me, "I've been paying taxes on this portion of land for 20 years!"
I had to correct her again. "Actually, because that land belongs to this house, I and the previous owners have been paying taxes on it. You've been using it for free."
Of course, there was more said, all of it in fairly loud tones. They screamed the whole time, and we had to do some of that back in order to get a word in. But in the end, we told them what we were planning to do, and that they might want to move the stuff they have on our property soon.
A couple days ago we submitted plans to the city, so hopefully the permit will be approved soon and we will have a new fence. A high one.
So I'm not getting ALL my property back, but I think we'll be taking back as much as what's usable. And, as Ariel pointed out, we resolved in a 10 minute shouting match what we've been trying to do for a year and a half. At least we hope so. It's not completely over until the new fence is up and I've written them a variance for the property they'll be retaining due to their house being over the line, and I'm not doing that until I need it. I'm not doing them any favors. I'll take the high road, but only so far.
The conversation then turned to moving our fence so that we can gain as much back as possible. Despite knowing how horrible my neighbors (Mr. and Mrs. Nasty) have acted toward us, my parents advised me to "take the high road." Ariel suggested that part of that might mean we send them a letter to let them know we're going to be moving the fence, as well as asking them if the current fence was one they put up. You know, in case they "wanted it back."
A few days later Ariel and I decided to go upstairs to the rooftop deck to scope out where we might move the fence to. Despite wanting to take back as much of our land as possible, there are really only two places where it makes sense and, for the rest of it, even though the fence is not on the property line, we are going to leave it where it is. For instance, for a good number of linear feet, there is a retaining wall. It only makes sense for us to put a new fence on the retaining wall, not on the other side of it where we might have to worry about erosion, the fence falling onto their house, and there also being a big tree in the way.
As we headed up the stairs, I noticed the neighbor, who I'll call Ron, sitting outside. Just being really frustrated at this whole thing, I thought, "To heck with it," and called out to him, "Hey, did you guys put this fence up?"
He responded, "No, the previous owners of your house did."
"Well," I said, "we're going to move it."
His wife came flying out of the house yelling, "See, Ron, I told you this wasn't over!"
What ensued was a highly errant (and therefore, slightly entertaining) "conversation." (I put that in quotes, because I've yet to see these people have a real civil give-and-take conversation. Kind of like my fiance's ex, but I digress).
I proceeded to tell her that, since it's our property, we are going to move the fence. She asked me (make sure that you read her parts in your head with a nasty yell) where we were going to move it to, making sure to inform me that we couldn't put it in front of their door because that would be against city code.
"Actually," I said, "We could. I have an email from the city planner saying their are no set-backs."
"Oh, that fatty from Oklahoma you told a bunch of lies to?" she spat.
We're not sure what lies she's referring to; we went in there with a survey.
"However," Ariel said, trying to negotiate smoothly, "we aren't going to do that."
"Well, then where are you going to put it?" Ron asked (you can read his part with an angry voice, but he didn't yell quite so much).
"What would work for you?" Ariel asked.
"If you would f-n move!" she yelled (except she used the whole word, not just f-n).
"Well, that's not going to happen," I responded as Ariel and Ron went about discussing where we were probably going to end up putting a fence post. Ron scratched an X into the rock with a stick, and said, "And once that happens, I don't want to ever hear another word about this!"
"But if you put it there, we won't be able to get into our yard," Ron's wife yelled (let's call her Carrie).
"Yes, you're going to have to cut a new gate into your wire fencing," I told her. "But, we aren't going to ask you do anything with your A/C unit."
"You can't do anything about that, anyway!" Carrie cried.
"Actually, it's over the property line. We could have you move that. But we'll let you leave it." (Their A/C unit, that they put in a couple summers ago, is on the other side of the retaining wall - part of the yard we aren't going to worry about fencing because it would just be unusable space for us due to the retaining wall).
Then Ron said something about consulting lawyers and having been to court (huh? for what?) about this whole issue. It was evidently a scare-tactic (maybe they were hoping it would make us back off?), because what would the point be of bringing that up? If any lawyer had told them they had a leg to stand on, Ron would never have marked an X anywhere in agreement to us putting a fence post anywhere on what he considers their property. The only other way they could try to refute anything is to have their own survey done, which will never happen. First of all, surveys are thousands of dollars. We never would have had one done if we'd had to pay for it ourselves. Secondly, any survey company they called out would just use the lines already set by the company that did ours. They'd be SOL no matter what.
Then Carrie spat at me, "I've been paying taxes on this portion of land for 20 years!"
I had to correct her again. "Actually, because that land belongs to this house, I and the previous owners have been paying taxes on it. You've been using it for free."
Of course, there was more said, all of it in fairly loud tones. They screamed the whole time, and we had to do some of that back in order to get a word in. But in the end, we told them what we were planning to do, and that they might want to move the stuff they have on our property soon.
A couple days ago we submitted plans to the city, so hopefully the permit will be approved soon and we will have a new fence. A high one.
So I'm not getting ALL my property back, but I think we'll be taking back as much as what's usable. And, as Ariel pointed out, we resolved in a 10 minute shouting match what we've been trying to do for a year and a half. At least we hope so. It's not completely over until the new fence is up and I've written them a variance for the property they'll be retaining due to their house being over the line, and I'm not doing that until I need it. I'm not doing them any favors. I'll take the high road, but only so far.
Tuesday, March 29, 2016
A Tale of Things Not Turning Out Quite How You Want
Sometime life plays out perfectly. Other times...well, other times...
Other times things don't go exactly as planned or hoped for.
I wrote a blog post back in July - coming upon a year ago - about some things I was waiting for. Well, all of those things have now reached their resolution. But first...
I was talking about "disposition" to my students today, an abstract concept difficult to make concrete. I likened the difference between disposition and mood to the difference between climate and weather.
I don't know if they got it. (Ironically enough, I am self-diagnosed as having a moody disposition).
I am very affected by my circumstances.
I do not like this about myself, but it is who I am. Not that I'm making excuses not to change, but I find trying to change like trying to swim upstream against a current much stronger than myself. The end result is always the same. I get tired. I give up. I go with the current.
All that being said, part of my disposition is believing that when things are going too well, something's bound to go wrong.
Maybe it's part of my disposition because it usually proves to be true.
Case in point:
A few months ago I wrote about my dream coming true of becoming a published author. Mere weeks after my book finally came out, my publisher received a serious medical diagnosis. Although her very positive attitude (her disposition, as it is), prompted her to proclaim that she hoped to be back on her feet by August, I had a sinking feeling. A feeling that was corroborated a few weeks ago when I received a letter from her stating that she was closing her doors. It is not as though my dream has lasted only four months - after all, I will forever be a published author, that doesn't change - but I now face either selling my remaining inventory and being done, or somehow finding another publisher. Just not quite how I thought this would play out.
Circumstance number two:
I will not fill you in on all the details of my property battle, since I wrote about it here and here, so you can go back and get filled in if you want. And, quite honestly, I'm sick of the subject. Well, as of today, it is over. I settled with the title company for a few thousand less than what I wanted, but, knowing they weren't going to offer me any more, and just wanting this done, I accepted. Unfortunately, I gained none of my property back in the process, which means we're just going to have to move the fence when the weather warms up (which still won't net me all of it, since the neighbors' house is over the line and I can't do anything about that), and then sit back and enjoy the fireworks I know will be set off between us and them, since they still think I'm the one encroaching on their property.
Circumstance number three:
Back at the beginning of December, I wrote about my fiance's ex-wife, who is certifiable (I have even more - recent - proof than what I mentioned there, but that's another blog post). Unfortunately, because of her insane behavior being compounded by a 9 year old daughter that has a lying problem (often directed at me), we had to go with Plan B for the 9yo's spring break, which mostly included my boys and I not having any contact with said child. While much of her time will be spent with her older brother and sister here, it does also mean that my man is away from home while he spends time with her. It's unfortunate, how some people just don't understand or care how lying and being generally immoral erodes away at relationships. Fortunately, we only have to make this concession for a couple days, as it was originally supposed to be quite a few longer, but a blizzard-induced shut-down at DIA delayed her arrival, so I am tying to be thankful rather than resentful. I wish I could say I was successful. In truth, I am only moderately so.
And the final circumstance:
Since the trip I took to Spain and Morocco back in the summer of 2013, I have been wanting desperately to return to the latter country. I spent only three days there, and it was just a tease. My man and I were planning to go back this summer. Unfortunately, a major snag in the plan - Ramadan falls during our travel window, and hunting around for food for almost two weeks did not sound like a fun adventure to add to our vacation - meant another Plan B. So, we decided to head somewhere else - which I am completely excited about, probably even moreso than Morocco, but it has left me wondering when I will get back there... Things change so quickly in our world these days that it may not be safe much longer. In the meantime, though, we are trying to up our gym time to prepare to climb a mountain in our as-of-yet unreleased-to-the-public destination.
I am left hoping the few things that are still amazing - the love I've found, my children, my health and the health of my loved ones, my job - remain untouched for a while. It's not like the disappointments I wrote about are huge by any means (in fact, I do realize they're first-world problems), but my disposition is crying for a reprieve for a while, at least until these issues are worked out.
Other times things don't go exactly as planned or hoped for.
I wrote a blog post back in July - coming upon a year ago - about some things I was waiting for. Well, all of those things have now reached their resolution. But first...
I was talking about "disposition" to my students today, an abstract concept difficult to make concrete. I likened the difference between disposition and mood to the difference between climate and weather.
I don't know if they got it. (Ironically enough, I am self-diagnosed as having a moody disposition).
I am very affected by my circumstances.
I do not like this about myself, but it is who I am. Not that I'm making excuses not to change, but I find trying to change like trying to swim upstream against a current much stronger than myself. The end result is always the same. I get tired. I give up. I go with the current.
All that being said, part of my disposition is believing that when things are going too well, something's bound to go wrong.
Maybe it's part of my disposition because it usually proves to be true.
Case in point:
A few months ago I wrote about my dream coming true of becoming a published author. Mere weeks after my book finally came out, my publisher received a serious medical diagnosis. Although her very positive attitude (her disposition, as it is), prompted her to proclaim that she hoped to be back on her feet by August, I had a sinking feeling. A feeling that was corroborated a few weeks ago when I received a letter from her stating that she was closing her doors. It is not as though my dream has lasted only four months - after all, I will forever be a published author, that doesn't change - but I now face either selling my remaining inventory and being done, or somehow finding another publisher. Just not quite how I thought this would play out.
Circumstance number two:
I will not fill you in on all the details of my property battle, since I wrote about it here and here, so you can go back and get filled in if you want. And, quite honestly, I'm sick of the subject. Well, as of today, it is over. I settled with the title company for a few thousand less than what I wanted, but, knowing they weren't going to offer me any more, and just wanting this done, I accepted. Unfortunately, I gained none of my property back in the process, which means we're just going to have to move the fence when the weather warms up (which still won't net me all of it, since the neighbors' house is over the line and I can't do anything about that), and then sit back and enjoy the fireworks I know will be set off between us and them, since they still think I'm the one encroaching on their property.
Circumstance number three:
Back at the beginning of December, I wrote about my fiance's ex-wife, who is certifiable (I have even more - recent - proof than what I mentioned there, but that's another blog post). Unfortunately, because of her insane behavior being compounded by a 9 year old daughter that has a lying problem (often directed at me), we had to go with Plan B for the 9yo's spring break, which mostly included my boys and I not having any contact with said child. While much of her time will be spent with her older brother and sister here, it does also mean that my man is away from home while he spends time with her. It's unfortunate, how some people just don't understand or care how lying and being generally immoral erodes away at relationships. Fortunately, we only have to make this concession for a couple days, as it was originally supposed to be quite a few longer, but a blizzard-induced shut-down at DIA delayed her arrival, so I am tying to be thankful rather than resentful. I wish I could say I was successful. In truth, I am only moderately so.
And the final circumstance:
Since the trip I took to Spain and Morocco back in the summer of 2013, I have been wanting desperately to return to the latter country. I spent only three days there, and it was just a tease. My man and I were planning to go back this summer. Unfortunately, a major snag in the plan - Ramadan falls during our travel window, and hunting around for food for almost two weeks did not sound like a fun adventure to add to our vacation - meant another Plan B. So, we decided to head somewhere else - which I am completely excited about, probably even moreso than Morocco, but it has left me wondering when I will get back there... Things change so quickly in our world these days that it may not be safe much longer. In the meantime, though, we are trying to up our gym time to prepare to climb a mountain in our as-of-yet unreleased-to-the-public destination.
I am left hoping the few things that are still amazing - the love I've found, my children, my health and the health of my loved ones, my job - remain untouched for a while. It's not like the disappointments I wrote about are huge by any means (in fact, I do realize they're first-world problems), but my disposition is crying for a reprieve for a while, at least until these issues are worked out.
Wednesday, December 30, 2015
Ski Day!
We took the boys skiing yesterday at Monarch. It was the first time for both of them. My parents were awesome and bought them a package for Christmas that included lessons, lift tickets, and gear rental. Of course, I still had to buy $200 worth of clothing earlier in the month to get them ready for this - but I'm glad I did, as temps were in the 20's! Luckily the sun was shining!
Early morning breakfast. We stayed with my brother and his girlfriend outside of Salida, so the suggested arrival time of 8am was doable.
Both boys were so excited. We were some of the first people there, so there was a lot of time between gearing up and the start of lessons. They couldn't wait to get on their skiis!
The moon was still up!
Benjamin had been asking to learn to ski for a couple months, so he was ready for his lessons. Josiah was very hesitant. He didn't like the idea of us leaving him alone with a bunch of people he didn't know. But when I checked on him at lunchtime, he was having a blast and was fine. We caught a glimpse of him on the "magic carpet" once as we were going up a lift, and he just zoomed right down the bunny slope! When we picked him up, his instructor said he needed to work on turning, because he just wanted to go straight down the hill (just like my brother when he was little!).
Selfie on top of the Continental Divide.
SO pretty up there!
Ariel had not skied in about 11 years, and for me it was over 20. Thankfully, it all came back to me, and I didn't fall once. I can't say the same for my handsome man, though!
At 2:30 we picked up the boys from their lessons and had time for about three runs with them down the slopes. With them being a little steeper than the bunny slope, Josiah was forced to learn to turn a bit. He certainly didn't like the chairlift the first time, and clung onto it for dear life. All three times he got off, he fell, but only lost a ski the first time.
Selfie on the chairlift with Benjamin.
Everyone had a blast - we'll definitely be going back again soon!
Teen Room Makeover
One of Benjamin's gifts this year was a room makeover. Everything in his room was so mismatched, and I thought it was time for that to change, and for his room to have a bit more personality.
He had purchased this chair at a thrift store a few months ago. It was the ugly mauve color you see still on the seat. I bought a few bottles of dye and spent a day dying it - which involved scrubbing the dye into all the cracks and crevices, which is not easy on a chair like this. I liken it to trying to dye a shar pei puppy!
Another thing I did was paint this bookcase, which had been red and orange for probably a decade, to a royal blue.
This is a "before" of the room - although we were already in the process of painting, so it's a mess.
Here's the "after."
We painted the top portion of his walls gray, with a thin black border underneath.
The chair and bookcase, done.
Christmas 2015
Just a few glimpses into our Christmas.
Our tree.
Tess and her boyfriend.
Christmas dinner at Mom and Dad's.
Our family. Even Tess smiled!
Me and my brother.
It took three people to wrangle all the dogs
(some of whom don't like each other too much) for this picture.
A gorgeous Christmas bouquet from one of my students.
How lucky I feel when I get to see my best friend from high school! She lives in Canada, so it's always a treat when she's here!
We took the boys to see the Colorado Springs Youth Ballet and Symphony perform the Nutcracker. It was the first time Benjamin had seen the ballet since he was four, and Josiah had never seen it. I learned afterward, that it had been Ariel's first ballet as well!
Wednesday, December 16, 2015
Dream
Some dreams take time.
Decades, perhaps.
Sometimes we wait, hoping the opportunity will present itself.
And then, sometimes, you realize you need to make the opportunity show up.
I learned this over the past year.
I also learned there is no time like now.
Sometimes now is the time to say, "It's time." Now is the time to start heading toward your dream. Now is the time to make a plan to make it happen. Now is the time to start pulling it toward you.
Like a bucket on the end of a string that you raise from a well.
A well of full.
A bucket of overflowing.
At some point
You have to get to the point
Where the time for saying "someday" is over.
Someday may never come knocking on your door calling, "It's time! I'm here!"
I've learned that Someday doesn't like stopping by without an invitation.
So when you do finally get around to inviting her (or him) over, have her in for tea - a sip of something warm - and some good conversation. Conversation that might go like this:
"I've always wanted to..."
"What have you been waiting for?"
"Well, umm, I've been waiting for you."
"What took you so long to ask me? Let's get started."
And you'll realize, like I did, that it was up to you all along.
And then, as things start to fall into place, you'll wonder if it's always been that easy. And before you know it, you will have no words to describe everything. Because it's almost impossible to describe how it feels when a dream comes true.
Where do you even start?
Do you start with how long you've had the dream? Or why? Or all the things that have led up to it coming true? Or how the last month (while you waited for the final product) passed like molasses?
No. You just smile really big and try not to jump out of your skin.
My dream has been to publish.
And now I have.
I will no longer say, "Someday I will write a book," or "I've always wanted to..."
Now.
I AM a writer (FYI, having my own ISBN number is pretty much the ultimate high).
A published author.
Now and forevermore.
If you want a copy, please email me (backtothebay1@gmail.com). They're 14.95 + tax + however much it costs me to ship it to you. Around $20 total.
What's your dream?
Don't wait too long.
Decades, perhaps.
Sometimes we wait, hoping the opportunity will present itself.
And then, sometimes, you realize you need to make the opportunity show up.
I learned this over the past year.
I also learned there is no time like now.
Sometimes now is the time to say, "It's time." Now is the time to start heading toward your dream. Now is the time to make a plan to make it happen. Now is the time to start pulling it toward you.
Like a bucket on the end of a string that you raise from a well.
A well of full.
A bucket of overflowing.
At some point
You have to get to the point
Where the time for saying "someday" is over.
Someday may never come knocking on your door calling, "It's time! I'm here!"
I've learned that Someday doesn't like stopping by without an invitation.
So when you do finally get around to inviting her (or him) over, have her in for tea - a sip of something warm - and some good conversation. Conversation that might go like this:
"I've always wanted to..."
"What have you been waiting for?"
"Well, umm, I've been waiting for you."
"What took you so long to ask me? Let's get started."
And you'll realize, like I did, that it was up to you all along.
And then, as things start to fall into place, you'll wonder if it's always been that easy. And before you know it, you will have no words to describe everything. Because it's almost impossible to describe how it feels when a dream comes true.
Where do you even start?
Do you start with how long you've had the dream? Or why? Or all the things that have led up to it coming true? Or how the last month (while you waited for the final product) passed like molasses?
No. You just smile really big and try not to jump out of your skin.
My dream has been to publish.
And now I have.
I will no longer say, "Someday I will write a book," or "I've always wanted to..."
Now.
I AM a writer (FYI, having my own ISBN number is pretty much the ultimate high).
A published author.
Now and forevermore.
If you want a copy, please email me (backtothebay1@gmail.com). They're 14.95 + tax + however much it costs me to ship it to you. Around $20 total.
What's your dream?
Don't wait too long.
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